


baby, it's okay

by tunecuck



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-29 15:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15732567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tunecuck/pseuds/tunecuck
Summary: younghyun’s heart could only fall, fall,fallas he watched the tears streak down jaehyung’s cheeks.younghyun lets out a shallow breath, as his mind races with only one, single thought:if only he could see how wonderful he is.alternatively, jaehyung is depressed and is convinced that he’s ugly and undeserving of anything. younghyun, however, thinks otherwise.





	1. let me be your love

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this to get my mind off from being upset... about my own eating habits :(
> 
> srry for the depressed!jae ,,, but he seems to resonate with me most so oops i had to write my sadness onto him (i luv him sm tho i'm srry!)

“i know that it’s terribly stupid, but i just never feel enough. this feeling has always been there, so it’s nothing new to me... but i just thought that it would go away eventually, you know? i thought that i _was_ a lot happier this year... but i guess that was just something i forced myself to believe...” jaehyung ranted bitterly, tearing his gaze from younghyun to the window, letting his pent-up feelings flow freely. his eyes glazed over the images of cars speeding down the street, distinctly lit up by the numerous street lamps littered by the road yet still a dull blur due to the heavy rain falling down onto the city.  
  
younghyun continued to watch jaehyung intently, waiting for him to continue.  
  
he had found him an hour ago in his room, sitting by the window, blankly staring out the window.  
  
like many times before, younghyun had wandered into his room, tentatively going to jaehyung’s side, murmuring a soft question of whether or not he could sit beside the brown-haired boy. jaehyung would then give a quiet nod in response, and the two would sit together in silence (occasionally punctuated by jaehyung’s quiet sobs and the small, concerned ‘ _are you okay?_ ’ by younghyun. once again, jaehyung would nod, before uttering a quiet ‘ _’i’d rather not talk about it’_ ,).  
  
younghyun never pressed jaehyung for answers, because the last thing younghyun ever wanted to do was to make jaehyung feel uncomfortable and pressured to talk about his feelings.  
  
usually, this exchange between the two happened infrequently. at most, it occurred once every few months. the next day, when younghyun sees jaehyung, he would be back to his typical bubbly self, seemingly radiating positivity in everything he did. jaehyung would put himself out there, pretending to be someone carefree and confident. someone happy and content with themselves, with nothing at all to hide.  
  
younghyun had known something was amiss, weeks before he had first entered jaehyung’s room. he knew that jaehyung was never as happy as he portrayed himself to be, when he noticed how jaehyung would often eat his meals alone. when he did eat together with others, he would only eat small mouthfuls of his food, and excuse himself from the table to head to the bathroom for long periods of time. always, whenever that happened, younghyun would follow after jaehyung, lingering by the bathroom worriedly, distinctly hearing jaehyung retch, accompanied by the sound of him crying.  
  
eventually, younghyun had managed to connect the dots, after his first instance of seeing jaehyung in his room.  
  
although they never spoke about it, younghyun hoped that jaehyung knew that he cared for and worried for him tremendously. at times, when younghyun knew that jaehyung had not eaten in days, he would always show up to his dorm with takeaway bags of his favourite food, in an attempt to encourage him to eat. younghyun would also take note to compliment jaehyung whenever he could ( _it’s not something that’s difficult to do, anyway_ , younghyun always thinks to himself. _i always find him beautiful_.)  
  
today, however, was a different story, as compared to their usual nightly encounters in jaehyung’s room.. jaehyung had asked younghyun if he could talk about his feelings moments after he had settled beside him.  
  
wordlessly, he sat next to jaehyung, as he shared his thoughts about the never-ending disappointed he felt towards himself; about how ugly he felt, how pathetic he was to be in this sorry state.  
  
“honestly, i feel like _this_ has been building up for months now, but i’ve just been in extreme self-denial... but it’s finally caught up to me...”  
  
younghyun’s heart could only fall, fall, _fall_ as he watched the tears streak down jaehyung’s cheeks.  
  
younghyun lets out a shallow breath, as his mind races with only one, single thought: _if only he could see how wonderful he is._  
  
“i-i’ve been trying so hard. i’ve been trying to eat... properly. _healthily_... for, like, the past month or so? b-but...”  
  
with gentle movements, younghyun wrapped his arms jaehyung’s thin, trembling frame, hoping that the simple action would bring him comfort.  
  
startled, jaehyung peered down at younghyun curiously, shifting to face him properly. truthfully, jaehyung had fallen back into a daze when he had started rambling; the existence of younghyun next to him _muted_ ; together with the voices in his mind reminding about how _worthless_ and _inadequate_ he was. he had tuned them out as his thoughts had turned static, numbness engulfing his very being. instead, he just mindlessly voiced out his thoughts.  
  
raising his head to look at jaehyung, younghyun moved to remove jaehyung’s gold-tinted glasses, to wipe the tears off his pretty face, but immediately stilled his actions when jaehyung’s lithe fingers came to stop him.  
  
“don’t!” jaehyung frantically whispered, struggling to shrink away from younghyun. “i look even _worse_ without my glasses!” his lips quivered, and more tears began to slide down his cheeks. jaehyung awkwardly looked away from younghyun, and tried to will himself to regain his composure.  
  
_that was silly. i’m already fucking ugly for being so hung up on how i look. is there even any difference?_ jaehyung bitterly thought to himself.  
  
“no. you’re not silly. not at all,” younghyun replied gently. “and you’re not ugly at all.”  
  
jaehyung’s mouth fell open in surprise, as he realised that he said his thoughts aloud.  
  
disbelief flooded jaehyung’s mind. _he’s out of his mind. he’s wrong. he has no idea what he’s going on about._  
  
before jaehyung could protest, however, younghyun continued on.  
  
“you’re amazing, jaehyung. you have many admirable qualities. you’re incredibly sweet and caring, even if you don’t think you are; that it’s merely facade. it’s obvious in the way you treat others and the things around you. the fact that you’re trying your best to be healthy and to care for yourself displays your strength, too. who you are is what makes you so attractive... not your looks, okay?” younghyun says, pausing to slowly look between jaehyung and the hands hovering above his own.  
  
_let me be your love, i want to protect you._  
  
jaehyung lets younghyun lift his glasses off his face and set them down on the bedside table beside them.  
  
“even then, you _are_ attractive. your features are so pretty. your body is perfect. well, at least to me. i think you’re worthy and adequate; the opposite of every single thing you claim yourself not to be.”  
  
just as jaehyung was about to turn away from younghyun again, he was stopped by his hands moving to cup his face. jaehyung could he feel his tears being brushed away by the soft pads of younghyun’s calloused thumbs.  
  
his eyes flickered down to younghyun’s hands, and he registers the affection in the tender gesture, and how his heart seems to skip a beat.  
  
“i‘m really fond of you, jae. i know that it isn’t much and you may not feel the same way about yourself, but i hope that you know that you’re loved. with _this_ , i hope that you can learn to love yourself, too.”  
  
_baby, it’s okay. from now on, i want you to be happy._  
  
a gasp escapes jae as he hears younghyun’s heartfelt confession spill out from his lips. unbeknownst to him, tiny bits of the sadness in his mind begin to dissipate into nothing. they’re small bits, just chipped off pieces of the huge dark cloud that seem to be perpetually waging a storm in his mind, but they’re still gone. he feels the corners of his lips quirk up into a smile, and he can’t say that the tears that continue to cascade freely down his cheeks are of despair.  
  
once again, jaehyung’s eyes flit upwards to meet younghyun’s.  
  
_maybe, what younghyun says is true_. jaehyung thinks, as younghyun has a smile that seems to mirror his own. _maybe there’s truth to what younghyun is telling him._  
  
jaehyung’s mind goes blank, before it’s flooded with _kang younghyun, kang younghyun, kang younghyun_ , as they inch towards each other and their lips meet the other’s.  
  
they pull away briefly, before their lips meet again. and again. and _again_.  
  
the darkness in jaehyung’s mind still looms overhead, even as some clouds begin to drift away.  
  
but it’s okay, if what younghyun is promising him is true. and he’s certain it is, as younghyun’s hands slip into jaehyung’s.  
  
_baby, it’s okay. from now on, i’ll always be here for you._


	2. from now on, i want you to be happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nervously, jaehyung pretends to busy himself with his readings, leaning forward and resting his head onto the cool oak table, in hopes of feigning restlessness to justify his earlier actions. 
> 
> “i heard that, you know.” 
> 
> “heard what?” 
> 
> “your stomach’s rumbling, obviously.” 
> 
> (quite simply: jaehyungparkian in the library featuring a hungy jae!)

it happens when they’re studying together in the university library: jaehyung going through his readings, while younghyun was typing his essay on his laptop.  
  
jaehyung’s stomach grumbles.   
  
immediately, jaehyung straightens, tearing his gaze away from the papers in his hand to peek up at his boyfriend. he silently prays that younghyun did not hear the sound.   
  
sure, his eat habits had begun to improve under younghyun’s caring scrutiny, but still.   
  
_still_ , he had skipped dinner last night, alongside breakfast this morning, too. he knew that if younghyun found out that he had not been eating right ( _yet again_ , jaehyung sighs to himself), he would never hear the end of it.  ~~(jaehyung wouldn’t mind. if anything, he loves the care younghyun gives him so much, albeit making him extremely guilty for causing younghyun to worry over him.)~~   
  
fortunately for jaehyung, younghyun appears to be completely absorbed in his work. his eyes remain transfixed on the screen of his laptop as his fingers type away furiously on the keyboard.   
  
_younghyun looks especially cute when he’s focused_ , jaehyung muses to himself as he spends a few seconds admiring his boyfriend.   
  
jaehyung is sure that he must have saved a universe in some past life of his to have gotten kang younghyun as his boyfriend. kang younghyun, the extremely handsome business administration major who loved him dearly _and_ found him attractive. someone who always never failed to make him laugh, and someone who always treated him with so much love - younghyun could have loved anyone else. yet, with his dashing good looks and amazing personality, he somehow fell for jaehyung. jaehyung, who tends to find himself wondering whether or not he’s good enough for younghyun, despite the latter’s constant reassurances telling him that he’s fine. it’s hard for jaehyung to see himself in that light yet, but he’s working on it. _they've been working on it._   
  
“...yes?”   
  
younghyun’s gentle voice snaps jaehyung out of his thoughts.   
  
“nothing...,” jaehyung replies sheepishly, his cheeks flushing slightly.   
  
convinced that younghyun did not hear him and feeling slightly embarrassed for being caught staring at him, jaehyung tore his attention away from him and looked down at his papers again.   
  
immediately, however, it happens again.   
  
jaehyung’s stomach grumbles.   
  
once again, jaehyung cautiously spares younghyun a quick glance. this time, jaehyung tries to be discreet. however, as his eyes fall onto younghyun, the _clack clack clack_ of younghyun’s fingers hitting the keyboard stops abruptly.   
  
nervously, jaehyung pretends to busy himself with his readings, leaning forward and resting his head onto the cool oak table, in hopes of feigning restlessness to justify his earlier actions.   
  
“i heard that, you know.”   
  
“heard what?”   
  
“your stomach’s rumbling, obviously.”   
  
upon hearing younghyun words, jaehyung’s eyes widen, and his mouth opens. before jaehyung can say anything, younghyun slides the screen of his laptop down before giving him a soft smile.   
  
“let’s go eat. we can go and try the korean barbecue pillie was telling us about. i was told that the restaurant is nearby,” younghyun says, moving to keep his laptop and gather his things.   
  
jaehyung tries to say something. say _anything_ , but finds that he really has nothing to say. truthfully, he does not know how to react, apart from obviously packing up his belongings and graciously thanking his boyfriend for the impromptu lunch date to get him to eat and care for himself.   
  
and that’s exactly what jaehyung does. he hurriedly keeps his things and stands, following younghyun out of the library.   
  
when they exit the library, jaehyung momentarily pauses by the large glass doors. tugging at younghyun’s sleeve, he leans down to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. murmuring a hushed _thank you_ and _i love you_ , he slips his hand into younghyun’s before they make their way down the street to the restaurant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh short drabble!! i tried to keep this light and not sad!  
> pls comment and lmk what you think (if you want to)!!!!!! thanks aaaa tbh i write rly badly and thus they r probably written ooc?? idk uhh anyway thnx for reading <3


End file.
